The moment I heard it:

“It doesn’t take any talent to reproduce biologically…”

something in me ignited.

Not because I was offended as a woman or because I wanted to defend those who long for children but can’t conceive. The fire came from something deeper. A frustration with how easily we dismiss the divine design of womanhood in our modern conversations about power, purpose, and leadership.

It struck me how often we, especially as women in business, are told our value lies in doing more, proving more, achieving more. But what if that’s the root of the problem with modern tension around gender roles?

As women, our strength isn’t in competing with men for position… it’s in embracing the roles Gd designed us for, in the boardroom and beyond.

And here’s the truth that shapes everything I believe about leadership, partnership, and calling:
None of it works if you take Gd out of the equation.

I’m a Christian woman. Faith is my framework.  My understanding of leadership and partnership, both in life and in work, flows from Scripture. When you remove Gd’s design from the conversation, roles between men and women quickly become about control, competition, and power struggles, not service and responsibility.

The biblical model of patriarchy is not about male superiority; it’s about male accountability before Gd… protecting, providing, and stewarding… while honoring the equal worth and distinct gifts of women. It’s meant to be a partnership under Gd, not a hierarchy for personal gain.

As a female business owner with three male business partners, I see firsthand how this shows up in business. There is a complete business parallel.

At home, our dynamic is equally layered. My husband had a thriving career, but when the opportunity came for me to take on a bigger role in the working world, he made the selfless decision to step back and invest more time at home with our children.

I would not have my career without this man.  There, I said it!!

So where is the sweet spot?  I say, “where feminine intuition meets masculine direction.” And here’s why.

At the office, I feel absolutely supported in my role because my partners own their leadership without diminishing mine.  They step into the patriarchal role in its truest sense: with accountability, ownership, and protection. I step into the matriarchal role: guiding, nurturing, seeing the big picture with the feminine intuition Gd gave me.

It’s not about creating hard dividing lines; it’s about blending strengths so the whole is greater than the sum of its parts.

At home, my husband and I live in partnership.  We exist together and I would not have been able to build my business or career without him.  But he will never ever tell you that.  He will continue to take a back seat and lift me up by saying, “Look at my wife and all she has accomplished.”

Yet, that doesn’t change his role as the head of the house, or the burden that comes with it. 

Leadership is weighty. It’s not an ego boost; it’s responsibility. His role is no less than mine, and mine is no less than his. We operate as a team sharing the physical work, but honoring his accountability when it comes to certain decisions and obligations.

Along with our roles comes a keen understanding that life inherently demands adaptability.

Marriage, parenting, and leadership require a constant dance, each of us stepping forward or back as needed without abandoning the Gd-given nature of our callings. The roles really are three-dimensional. That’s why I reject today’s flat, one-dimensional picture of gender roles.

For my husband, his three-dimensional role means leading with strength and humility. For me, it means bringing wisdom, vision, and discernment into every sphere I touch. And for both of us, it means flexibility to lean in when life demands. It’s a three-dimensional partnership where respect is the foundation.

Before some of you start shooting daggers with your keyboard courage and throwing rotten tomatoes at me - and there will be a few – I must say this:

I honor the women who came before me.  I recognize I speak from a place of generational privilege. I’ve not had to navigate the same struggles with patriarchy my female mentors endured.  

The women who came before me in business, ministry, and leadership carried burdens I can only imagine… fighting for seats at tables that were never built with them in mind, proving themselves in spaces where their very presence was questioned.

I reap the benefits of their courage. I walk through doors they pried open with their determination, skill, and grace. My perspective is shaped by a time when I’ve been invited in and valued, but that doesn’t erase the cost others paid to make that possible.

So, when I speak about patriarchy, I do so with deep respect for the women who navigated its harsher edges, and with gratitude for the way they modeled strength without losing their faith or their femininity. Their legacy challenges me to steward the influence I’ve been given with the same courage they showed when influence wasn’t easily granted.

The Real Problem Isn’t Patriarchy.  It’s Counterfeit Patriarchy.

History bears this out. Women have long influenced outcomes without trading in their femininity for the sword.  Think of the ancient oracles whose words shaped the paths of kings and armies. Men fought the battles; women’s counsel guided their course. Both roles carried weight. Both were essential.

The trouble begins when men take the title without the character, or when women are told their influence is lesser because it doesn’t look like a man’s role. True patriarchy, rooted in Gd’s design, creates space for women to flourish, not shrink.

So instead of dismantling “patriarchy” altogether, maybe we need to redeem it.

Let men rise to the call of sacrificial leadership. Let women step fully into the roles of influence, wisdom, and strength Gd gave them. Let both meet in mutual accountability and come together to achieve more than possible individually.

Whether in the boardroom or the living room, in the end, leadership isn’t about who’s in charge. It’s about who’s responsible.