As a vision board expert, workshop facilitator, and creator of the Executive Vision Imagery© program, I've had the privilege of working with hundreds of women in the accountability and goal-setting space, and almost 50 companies, organizations, and groups through my people and leadership development workshops. 

Through these experiences, I've come to understand two fundamental truths across all aspects of my work: the hardest thing you'll ever do is trust yourself and the first thing you’ll discount is your worth. 

I have listened to people detail their plans with excitement, beaming at the thought of what could be, only to kill their own dreams - and the thoughts, ideas, and hopes that went along with them- by simply resigning themselves as not worthy or 'worth it'. 

Why do we help others so easily, believe in their dreams, and champion their goals but look at ourselves in the mirror and deem us unworthy of our own? Why do we not trust ourselves to make decisions or make it happen?

I have been uncovering this in my work with private clients, corporate employees, and group participants for the past 22 years and here are some of the things I know to be true.  Before we can begin to actually trust ourselves and truly feel worthy, we must first start with understanding the science of negative thinking.

The Science of Negative Thinking

Our brains are remarkably plastic, constantly forming and reforming neural pathways based on our thoughts and experiences. Unfortunately, this plasticity can work against us when we fall into patterns of negative thinking.

Studies have shown that persistent negative thoughts can significantly impact our brain structure and function. For instance, a 2019 study published in the journal "Biological Psychiatry" found that negative thinking patterns were associated with increased amygdala reactivity and decreased prefrontal cortex activity, areas crucial for emotional regulation and decision-making.

Moreover, research from the University of California, Berkeley, indicates that negative thoughts can become self-fulfilling prophecies. The study found that individuals who ruminate on negative thoughts were more likely to develop depressive symptoms over time, creating a vicious cycle of negativity.

The Emotion of Negative Thinking

Over the years, I’ve distilled some of the negative things we convince ourselves into the following emotional roadblocks to our success:

We are afraid. Mostly of failing, but that fear stalls us into not even starting.

We lack a plan of action. We don't know how to effectively assess our needs to succeed.

We don’t need accountability. We cannot rely on the initial giddiness of our dream to sustain our focus. It doesn't.

We believe in an 'all-or-nothing' mindset instead of 'consistency is key'. This perpetuates the idea that if we aren't perfect then we can't progress.

We try to do too much at once. We need to slow down so that we can truly focus on what's important, necessary, and will garner actual results towards our dreams. All the rest - forget it and move on.

We claim we don't have the time. Wrong. We just don't prioritize what's truly important to us and use time as our excuse.

Breaking the Cycle: The Power of Positive Affirmations

I am guilty of all of these intrusive and oftentimes negative thought processes. It is why the process I created works!

While negative thoughts can be intrusive and overwhelming, we can combat them with daily positive affirmations that remind us of who we are and who we are working to become. Affirmations work by gradually reshaping our neural pathways, creating new, positive connections in the brain.

A study published in the journal "Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience" found that self-affirmation activates brain systems associated with self-related processing and reward. This activation can help counteract the effects of negative thinking and boost self-esteem.

Accountability and Planning

Oftentimes when I feel like I can't or am not enough, it's simply because I lack a basic plan or clarity around the first step. Ever feel that way? Like you don’t even know where to begin?

In our minds, we make our dreams bigger than our abilities and stronger than our desire for making them happen- that’s why we give up. Creating a plan of action helps us gain clarity around the road ahead, providing direction and steadiness and allowing us to tackle something big in smaller increments.

Having an accountability partner (or many) can be instrumental in keeping you on track and guiding you back on course when you veer off. It's like going to the doctor for a well visit. Sometimes we need to be reminded that we're doing all the right things. Or maybe we're not and lab results may require some tweaks to our health regimen. Accountability works the same. And we all need it to remind ourselves we can do it, we are doing, and we are worth it.

Overcoming Imposter Syndrome

One of the most insidious forms of negative thinking is imposter syndrome. At times in my entrepreneurial journey, it has rocked me to my core. This psychological pattern causes people to doubt their accomplishments and fear being exposed as a "fraud." It can significantly affect your belief system and keep you from achieving your goals and dreams, preventing you from becoming who you are meant to be.

As women entrepreneurs, we face unique challenges that can exacerbate these feelings of self-doubt. However, it's crucial to remember that these external challenges do not define our worth or potential. Communities like The Daily Drip are creating and building spaces for women entrepreneurs to collaborate, connect, develop ideas, and access the resources needed to grow and enhance successful businesses. Community can be powerful in providing the peer-to-peer support to overcome imposter syndrome.

Your Journey to Self-Trust

Trusting yourself is a journey, not a destination. It requires consistent effort and patience. By understanding the science behind negative thinking, confronting the lies we tell ourselves, practicing positive affirmations, building an action plan, seeking accountability support, and addressing imposter syndrome head on, you can begin to rewire your brain for success.

Your journey to self-trust starts now. Are you ready to take that first step?