What happens to the beauty queen after her reigning year? She takes off the crown and hands it off to someone else. Forever becoming just a name on a list of “past” winners. I am not claiming to be a beauty pageant winner, but I still reference my last title. That big job title that came with all the clout. My title carried gravitas. 

When I decided to leave that position and title (at that time I even moved countries), I regularly stated that I had been at this “company name” and that “title”. It garnered respect and a bit of glamor. But in reality, I felt so much smaller without it, often wondering what was my value now without it? I didn’t even know what to call myself. I had worked so hard to earn my fancy title and now I was just a commoner. 

How do I introduce myself now? How would people even know what I had accomplished? It was like having a pedigree ripped from my hands and now I was a mutt. I identified with every aspect of my job title, and now without it, I didn’t know how to be me. How do you declare who you are if you no longer have a title? 

This can be a huge challenge for anyone, but especially if you are transitioning out of the corporate world and starting your own business. It was a huge issue for me. 

I really wrestled with this. Why did I need to have a title to feel valuable? 

So here’s the thing- being a single woman (divorced twice) with no kids puts me in a different kind of category. I am not someone's mom, I am not someone's wife, I am a stand-alone unit who travels alone, goes to restaurants alone, pays bills alone, takes out the trash, keeps up the car, and works in the garden solo. I have done a lot in my life without any accompaniment. I am not whining about it- I like not having anyone to ask or consider. But it's hard because I don’t have anyone to ask or consider. You see the problem? On one hand, you have a tremendous amount of freedom and yet, all the responsibility on the other. 

Back to the title. My biggie title was sort of my pal, my friend, like having pictures of kiddos to show around. It was my big accomplishment and my identity. Yes, I started my own business, but calling myself a CEO seemed a bit much, considering I was the only employee. Can you be a CEO of yourself? Due to the years of corporate structure, I felt strange giving myself that title. Then there is Founder, Owner, President, and Manager, which I could answer yes to all but they still didn’t quite fit. It seemed like they were all meant for larger companies. So I’ve crossed off a lot of titles: 

• My old corporate title
• Wife
• Mom
• CEO
• Founder
• Owner
• President
• Manager
  

Words are critical. They give meaning to things, feelings, places, and situations. Words can be positive or negative, and like an electrical charge, they manifest things, feelings, places, and situations. So when I call myself a specific title, it breathes life into the word. That is why it hurt so much when I lost my title, albeit I freely gave it up. I did not know at the time that it would dent my psyche. It has taken me a decade to release my bruised title ego and figure out I can be whomever I choose. 

What are titles? They are the wordly representation of how we identify. Currently, there are loud discussions about pronouns, they are personal titles, and then there is the Miss, Mrs. Ms. controversy. Men only have 1 title, Mr., however, women need to identify with their marital status. WTH… Why can’t just being a woman be enough? 

I am sensitive about words, especially words used to describe or identify me. You might want to know what title I landed on to describe my position in my business. Brand Director. I felt it was the best way to include all the things I do, all the titles I’ve held throughout the decades, and all the insights I bring to a project.

How about you? How do you identify? Have you ever given it much thought? What’s your title- and why?