I thought this year would be my son’s biggest season of growth. Looking back, I now see it was mine.  

I spent years building a business, raising a family, and planning for the future, but my son’s senior year taught me how to finally slow down, let go, and enjoy the life I worked so hard to create.  Senior year was supposed to be about HIS milestones—college applications, acceptances, and big decisions. While those things happened, what I didn’t expect was how much I would grow through the process.

I felt myself withering away from living in the unknown.  The acceptances rolled in. Prestigious universities all over the southeast. Scholarship offers. Friends and colleagues were celebrating their children’s college choices, throwing “bed parties,” and planning for the future. Yet, we waited. Who would have expected a simple piece of paper would have so much control over my mind and my emotions?

Would it be the Naval Academy? West Point? Virginia Tech?  The unknown consumed me.

I entered my son’s senior year a frazzled, fearful mom, living in what I jokingly called “college purgatory.” Every conversation revolved around the same dreaded question:  "Where is Peyton going to college?"

"We haven’t heard back yet,” becomes a daily response.

I put my life on hold. I couldn’t commit to summer plans. I obsessively checked the mail—so much so, I installed an app to track deliveries before they even arrived. I analyzed every possible outcome, planned for every scenario, and lived in a constant state of waiting. 

It wasn’t just about his future. It was about my need for control.

One day, amid another mental spiral, I stopped and asked myself:  "What is God teaching you?"  "What are you fighting so hard against?"  

The answer hit me like a ton of bricks. I was wasting the time I had left with Peyton worrying about things I could not control.  It was affecting everything—my family, my relationships, my work, my health.

The pruning I was about to experience, to release the scarcity mindset I grew up with, was completely unexpected.  

I grew up in a home where scarcity was a way of life.  Scarcity of money. Scarcity of security. Scarcity of certainty.  Every penny was accounted for. Every decision was weighed against “what if?” Simple joys were sacrificed for fear of financial instability.  That mindset followed me into adulthood, shaping the way I planned, worried, and held on too tightly.  But something had to change.

I made the decision to GROW by choosing experiences over fear.  

I thought back to our last RV trip to the Florida Keys—our favorite spot. A place where I became the “cool mom,” taking my family fishing, boating, and snorkeling like a true local. Those memories were priceless.  Then came our annual tradition for an RV Thanksgiving—a Charlie Brown-style gathering with our closest friends, filled with warmth, laughter, and the kind of moments you cherish forever.  

And suddenly, I found myself saying yes more.  

Why not take a ski trip to Lake Tahoe?  Why not enjoy iconic restaurants, spontaneous adventures, and experiences I would have previously deemed too much?  For the first time, I wasn’t thinking about the cost, the logistics, or the “what-ifs.”  I was growing. I was evolving.

But the biggest transformation was yet to come.

Spring Break… a time for me to bloom and embrace the present.  For all of Peyton’s childhood years, I had stayed behind, working 70-hour tax-season weeks while my son and his friends made memories.  But not this year.  A close mom friend and I decided to take our boys—and their friends and families—on a once-in-a-lifetime trip to Costa Rica for a party of twenty-five. 

We white-water rafted the Rio Corobicí.
We zip-lined through the Diamanté Forest.
We ATV’d through the streets of Brasilito Village.
We soaked in the beauty of Conchal Beach.
We jet-skied off Flamingo Beach.

Even after giving up coffee for three and a half years, I savored a cup of Costa Rican coffee—because why not?  

In Costa Rica, Pura Vida isn’t just a phrase—it’s a way of life. It means embracing simplicity, joy, and the present moment, no matter the circumstances. This year, I learned to live my own version of Pura Vida, letting go of fear, trusting the journey, and finally savoring the life I worked so hard to build.  Heck, I even went cliff diving from four stories high, because if I was going to embrace Pura Vida, I was going all in.

Each of these experiences wasn’t just about letting go of my son as he stepped into adulthood.  It was about letting go of the scarcity mindset holding me captive for 39 years.  I realized my fears weren’t just about money.  I had lived in a scarcity of time. Of control. Of certainty.  In doing so, I had almost robbed myself of the most precious moments of this last year of “normal” with my firstborn.  In choosing to embrace life instead of fearing it, I felt something I hadn’t in a long time. Freedom.  Courage.  Excitement. 

For the first time, I wasn’t just surviving. I was living.  I was blooming. 

As I stand at the edge of this new chapter, I still don’t know exactly what’s ahead. The waiting, the uncertainty—it’s all still there. But for the first time, I’m not letting it steal my joy.  

This year wasn’t just about preparing my son for his future; it was about preparing me for mine. Learning to trust, to release, to embrace the present. To stop living in fear of “what if” and start living in the beauty of what is.

I don’t have all the answers, but maybe that was never the point.  The journey—the growth, the pruning, the blooming—that was the destination all along.